the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize