I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize