We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
