are you so shy because you have an std?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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