you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize