First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
