addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize