Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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