Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
