my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
