Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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