Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
