I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
