That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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