Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
