i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
