I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
