No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
