when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
