I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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