Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
