I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
