I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize