Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it's like iHOP with fire
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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