i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
