it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Say something about gay babies.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
