Do you still have your period?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
