My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize