yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
