we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We're too hungover to prance.
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