My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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