I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize