after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
