Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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