Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
