i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
