Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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