Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
