Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
