I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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