Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
