it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
