the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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