Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
