Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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