fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
