Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize