My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We got so high we made milksteak
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Randomize