It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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