I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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