Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
