the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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