Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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