some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
