Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
