We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
