some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the day after is always just damage control
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
