Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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