wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
