Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
