i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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