I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
