We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
