My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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