there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
