you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
