One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just found a bag of teeth...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize