Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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