i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Come share oat with me in your robe
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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